TOOL #4: Heartfelt Love

It is through commitment, fidelity, grace and tenderness that you show your family—in word and indeed—how much you love them (and therefore how valuable they are to you . . . and to God ).

“Love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8, ESV

“I grew up in a home without a lot of love. So learning to truly love my wife and our children took time. But little by little over the years, God has helped me to understand what real love is—and to use it in my family. And that has made a big, big difference.” Dan W., Mclean Virginia

Loving your family every day is one of those easy-to-say-but-hard-to-do-each-day things. But it sure is important. In fact, heartfelt love in a family is like oil in a car’s engine. It won’t last long without it.

Love is a much-used word, but it has many meanings and is frequently misused. Most of the time we hear the word “love” used in a romantic sense, and certainly that is part of what I mean here. But there are other aspects of the word that are even more relevant to the family. These comprise four elements of the Heartfelt Love Tool that we need to focus on and develop: commitment, fidelity, grace and tenderness.

Commitment
Familial love is nothing if it is not committed. You might have grown up in a situation where your father was not really committed to his family. I did. Sometimes you could count on him, but other times you could not. Sometimes he was there, but other times he was not. This kind of behavior from a father hurts, and it stunts a child’s ability to trust. The best families are always built on commitment. As the leader of our homes, we must cultivate and demonstrate that commitment in thought, word and deed.

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